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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?